Why I am an Independent

While the Trump years terrified me with the hatred and unpredictability they were also a source of great confusion. Values that I held about decency, respect, integrity and “the greater good” were shattered in a daily display of chaos. After many years of being focussed by choice on local politics only I was catapulted into daily awareness of the latest travesty on the national front.

I am a relatively new resident in a conservative, fairly traditional community and for the most part folks supported Trump regardless of his personal shortcomings. People who I knew to be good and kind people somehow could excuse Trump’s personality and behavior because they liked his policies or the renegade part of his leadership. This was very confusing for me.

I was raised in the suburbs of eastern cities in a family that held political involvement and higher education dear. They viewed political discussion as part and parcel of civic responsibility. They were proud Republicans in a time when political debate could be heated but respect was an assumption. Mostly because of the VietNam War and volunteering in an urban black community on a tutoring project I held views much closer to those of the Democrats. I attended rallies, marches. I was present in the desperation of riots. College helped me find a career path as a social worker - a profession founded on social justice goals. I became a registered Democrat though found national politics to be frustrating. I felt nothing I could do would make a difference and I only became enraged with the national conversations and the increasing gridlock.

As an adult I have chosen to live in the rural west in part because a branch of the family lived there. I enjoyed a slower pace, the traditions of farming/ranching, the “groundedness” of living closer to nature, the focus on values of community, family and faith. I own a horse and find a special serenity in caring for her and riding trails. My horse world introduced me to a number of good people who held political views different from mine. I experienced their “goodness” as an open welcoming of me, help when I needed it, community and church commitment, common sense and practicality, reaching out to those neighbors in need, etc. Over the years I heard their increasing frustration with government, a deep disenfranchisement, a distrust of east coast politics and an educated elite whom they saw serving cities or their own interests. And they remained good to me, their families, and their community. They loved their heritage as different as it was from an urban reality.

And then the build up to and the experience of Trump brought hate in language and action. The party rhetoric became charged. Both parties. The more extreme and divisive the better. Creating chaos and charging everything with tribalism….fear mongering as the major strategy. The symbolism of Trump somehow became more relevant than facts. I consider myself a thoughtful person. People believing what they want to believe in the face of facts was very disconcerting. It still is.

So the dilemma for me became….how can I reconcile my relief at Trump’s defeat with the devastation this represented for a large part of my community and amongst my horse friends? How do I work with my confusion and not perpetuate what I believe to be the fundamental problems…. unleashed hatred and fear, revved up extreme partisanship, loss of respect in dialogue. How can I be part of solutions and not perpetuate the divisions?

For a long while I have done my best to evaluate candidates based on character, competence and track records of problem-solving, willingness to “work across the aisle” …. BEFORE issue consideration and party affiliation. I believe when I began this approach my self-definition as an Independent started. I dropped my party registration. For me this means I am not going to buy into the same ol’ - same ol’ party positions and forms of communications that are judgmental, disrespectful, hate and fear based. Party will not be of primary importance, character will.

As I have claimed this independence more completely I can see more clearly how frequently folks generalize about parties and almost use it as an excuse to not do the hard work of listening and finding common ground with others who hold different positions on issues. The belonging to one’s political tribe counts more than respectful communication. Being an independent does not mean I don’t have strong feelings about many issues and I will take action to support those and to make change. I just don’t feel party affiliation is necessary and in fact party approaches are often fraught with distrust and often ineffective in a time of such heightened and in my opinion often fabricated divisiveness. One can’t realize this easily from within because it requires listening with an open mind and the hard work of striving to find a common denominator or “common ground” on which to start building in a give and take dialogue. It means being neutral to party and accepting of trust-building and incremental steps of change.

I have also found that saying you are Independent can be startling to some. We have become so accustomed to the we vs them duality. As I have increased my abilities to appreciate opinions different than my own I am finding I have trusted relationships across party lines, my voice is valued, my change efforts seem less encumbered, and I am living closer to one of my core values…celebrating diversity.

Go figure!